THE LIVING WORD TRANSCRIPT

Program Air Date - 4-21-02

LESSON TITLE: THE CHRISTIAN HOME: "DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND"

WELCOME

What a privilege we have this morning to join together in the study of God's Living Word. We welcome you to our program and we thank God that you have chosen to be with us today. We are excited about this opportunity we have together this morning to glorify our creator. May we each do our part to make this time acceptable in His sight and according to His Will. Now, let's approach our Father's throne in prayer.

(Prayer)

This morning we want to start our songs of praise with a hymn that reminds us of the beauty of Heaven. Won't you join in with the congregation at this time as we together sing, "How Beautiful Heaven Must Be!"

(SONG # 1)

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHTS

From our early years, most of us have been involved in some type of social clubs or organizations. For most of us it all started out as a new student in kindergarten. We began to form small groups of friends. Later, as we get into junior and senior high school, these friendships are carried over into different organizations in school, such as: sports, band, or many other types of groups which are formed to promote learning in specified areas. College days are even worse, as we are encouraged to join more groups and fraternities, in order to keep up with our friends and with our present day interests. Let me then clarify, that there is nothing wrong with any of these things as long as they do not promote that which is contrary to God. However, many of us are often confused into thinking that this is really what religion is also - just another organization or social club. However, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Then what is the church? The word church comes for a Greek word known as "ekklesia." Greek was the original language the Bible was written in. This word or it's forms are used about 115 times in the N. T. The word actually refers to those who are "called out," "assembled," or "summoned forth," by the Lord. The Bible continually mentions this term with a focus on those who are faithful "people" of God.

But what happens today when you ask someone where they go to church? They usually say, "oh, I go over there on North Kansas Expressway" or "I go to that church over on Glenstone." The fact is most people fail to realize what the church is, as is evident in these types of responses.

Again, we must realize that the church is not a building. Furthermore, it is not a club, or a fraternal organization - it is God's people! So what does this terminology, "called out," really mean? The Bible says, as God's followers have been called out of darkness or the things of this world - in order to be in Jesus. In 1 Peter 2:9, we read a verse that proves this very point! There it says, "but you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." Not only are we called out of darkness into His marvelous light, but here it says we are a chosen generation (chosen of God), we are a royal priesthood, we are a holy nation (holy as He is holy), and we are His own special people!

Now do you see how special the church is? It is an institution from God which is for those who have chosen to follow His will. Further more, by following His will and being obedient to Him, we are among his chosen, holy, and special priesthood. Or in other words - we are His church!

The final verse we will consider to confirm the importance of Christ's Church is found in Acts 20:28. The later part of that verse tells us, "Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood." Here we read that the church of our God was purchased with the blood of His own Son, Jesus Christ. Now let me ask you, if Jesus was willing to die for it and shed His blood for it, just how important is the Church?

Today we will again study God's Word by focusing on things related to "The Christian Home!" This morning our specific topic of study will be "Duties of the Husband!" So stay with us after our next song and in a few minutes I will return with this lesson from God's Word. It's now time to join in our second hymn of the morning, the name of the song, "More About Jesus."

(SONG # 2)

LESSON

Speaker: Ray Sullins

Thank you for continuing with us this morning. Now we have opportunity to look into the pages of God's Word. I hope you have your Bible ready and I hope you are ready to look and to see what God has to say this morning about the duties of husbands. We've had a good study so far in relationship to the Christian home and we've been able to find out a lot about the great needs that we have for love and communication and understanding where we fit into our home. We've tried to also see that the home is a Biblical concept, one that was actually started by God as He instituted the home in the very beginning. And then this morning, as we've said, as we look at husbands. We'll begin the process of looking at each part of the home, those individual parts and what really is the responsibility for each person who is in the home and again specifically today, the husband.

If you were to wonder what might be one of the most important positions in the home, I think we would ask ourselves and when we would find the answer probably is in the husband. I say that for a few reasons and it's because I think sometimes we fail to understand that as men and as husbands what a great effect we have on the home. In fact, there have been many studies that have been done to show the large role that a man plays in the marriage relationship as well as the parenting process because the man is one that is looked up to in so many ways, and as we know also in God's eyes, as the head. So if we consider from the religious standpoint, God's standpoint, we truly understand that the man's part is important, not in the sense that it is more important than the others, but it's important in the fact of the responsibility placed in the man. And as well, our society has seen the very same thing. According to how the man reacts in the family, the words that he says and the actions that he has and the time that he spends and the interest that he shows. All of these have a tremendous bearing on how successful a Christian home will or for that matter even how successful a home will be in our society even without God. So we need to understand that yes, this is an important topic. Understanding what our responsibilities as husbands and parents and men in the household are is of the utmost importance.

In fact, if we were to ask our families, our wives and our children, "what is it that you would want for your father or your husband more than anything else to achieve? What would you really desire of him?" What type of answer do you think that we would have? Would it be wealth or possessions or maybe bigger houses or cars or do you think really our children and our wives would say more time? Greater love, greater interest, a better time of listening maybe and reply, and a greater interest really in the interaction that we have with our families and the different parts of the household that exist. Well, I think obviously the latter would be the case and we see that truly in each of our lives if we are honest with ourselves. The great response that we have from our children and wives when we give our relationships the time that they need and we have the communication that we need with those of the home.

Now though as we begin our lesson let's look first of all at some things that a Christian husband is not, and then we'll go into some Biblical ideas of really proving what he is before God. But first of all, let's suggest that he is not selfish. A husband is not to be selfish. Now that's tough for us guys because the first thing we do many times is go into a store and we're thinking about what we can get or what is for ourselves or what I can buy, or that bigger boat or that better truck or maybe a better gun. It's very difficult to keep from getting caught up in many of the things of this life and maybe in putting an importance in these things over our wife and our children and our home, that is, once again. But here again, selfishness is not a part of a good Christian man, a godly husband and a godly father. In fact, really, we are to put our needs on the back burner so to speak, and put the needs of those around us before. What is it that interests my wife? What is it that she needs or my children? What is it that interests them and how can I greater care for them and provide something that they have need of rather than only fulfilling my own selfish desires. Well selfishness is no part, once again, of a good, godly man in the home.

Pride and stubbornness is something else that is unacceptable. Pride and stubbornness are things again that can be picked up and learned by our children. So for that reason alone it would cause us to say that yes, it's not good to practice these types of things in our lives. But again, pride, thinking that we're something that we're not or again feeling that we're even better than our wife or children. And then the stubbornness where we always need our own way would keep us from listening, once again, and be talking with our wife or talking with our children or being a good listener when our children say something. Maybe instead of really listening thinking more so about what we're going to do about what they have done rather than hearing what they have to say and helping them in their issues and in their problems. Yes, pride and stubbornness again are those things which would be contrary to a good, healthy productive home before God.

Another thing that a husband should not be allowed to be which many of us might fall in the category is stupid. How often do we maybe find ourselves being stupid in so many ways and acting as if we don't know? I think a lot of times it's because we don't actually interact and we don't communicate and we are so much to ourselves and we watch TV and we're satisfied with the games and things that are going on and when someone is speaking to us we've got a lot of groans and moans and yeas and uhs and huhs, but we never really communicate many times. Once again, stupidity is unacceptable as one who is in the family of the Christian home, the family of God, one who is striving to set the best example. We need to be people who are interested and again finding out what interests our wife and learning more about that interest her as well as our children and what they are doing in school and helping them with their homework and using our minds as we might read and study ourselves and grow and mature ourselves in a mental way as well as physically so that we might again be up to par with those in the home and to be willing and ready to accept our responsibility in different areas once again such as communicating and showing our love and respect and honor and so on and so forth in these things that we're talking about.

Another idea is the loss of manners. This is a big one. I know that one thing that often happens as a man when we get married is we continue to lose our manners and our children often pick up a lot of those sad habits that we have also. Some of these things again are really important as we think about how we effect those in the home and how they are going to relate to what we are doing, how they are going to relate and to pick up on the things that we are doing and maybe copy them. We lose our manners sometimes even in simple ways such as saying, "I love you," or "I care about you," or in maybe saying, "How was your day?" or just again thinking of what someone else might need or something else that might help them in their life.

Laziness is another thing that is unacceptable in the home. The lazy attitude that again brings us home after a hard day that is full of hard work and we sit down on the couch and we think our day is over. Well, our day is just starting because we have responsibilities in the home with our wife and children and we have responsibilities and even though we might say that we are in a sense bringing home the bacon, it still doesn't excuse what we have to do as far as interacting and playing and communicating again and helping as best we can to be the husbands that God has asked us to be.

How are our priorities in the home? Are they where they need to be? Are they where they should be as far as giving the family members what they need? Giving again the wife what she needs. Giving the children what they need. Hearing them and communicating with them in all different aspects. Well let's then go and see what God has to say about the Christian home. What is the husband? Who is the father? Well, we can go back to the beginning and we can see that he was the provider even there in the very beginning as man was made, Adam and Eve, and we know that eventually as they were thrown out of garden that it was Adam that became the tiller of the ground and prepared or brought forth things of the land in order that the family would have food and would be able to eat. He was the tiller of the ground. He was the one that brought forth again and provided for the family that he cared about and he loved. The same would be true for us. In fact, in the book of 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 8, we see that Paul helps Timothy to understand this same idea as he says this, "But if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." You see, if you won't provide for your own family and care for their needs of eating and their clothing and just the very basics that God has even promised, then we are worse than unbelievers or infidels or sinners if we do not do this. God says that as husbands we must provide. We must do what we can and have to do what we can to make sure that the family has all that it needs. Now we see that the woman has her part also and we'll look at that in more detail next week, but actually if we look we'll find in places like Proverbs 31 where the virtuous woman was one who made her linens and cared for the family and prepared the food that was brought to her and she had her part. But here the husband must make sure that these things are in order and that the house has what it needs.

Also, the husband is the leader as we can clearly see in scripture. In other words, he is to lead the household. Because of this, I would like to say that obviously the husband has a greater responsibility before God than the wife and the children. In other words, when we stand before God, I believe it is the husband that will primarily answer for maybe a home that has rejected God because it is his requirement by the creator Himself to make sure that the home, that is the wife and children, are obedient to God and know God and know what God expects of them. So again, we find that as one who is the spiritual leader in the home, the one who is the physical provider who should give the food and the clothing. It is a great responsibility when we put these things before God and when we follow them as He has asked us to.

I might also ask you to look at Ephesians chapter 5 with me. We want to look at just a few verses there. One is in verse 25 where it says, "A husband is to love his wife," which helps us to know that we as husbands are to care about those in the home. We are to love. Love again covers all the aspects as we've already looked at a lesson on love, of honor and respect and caring for and providing for. How much do we lover our wives? He goes on in verse 25 to say, "Just as Christ loved the church." In fact, he goes on in verse 25 to say, "He loved the church so much that He gave Himself for it." Husbands, how much are we to love our wives? Enough to die for her and as it says here, "enough to care for her as Christ cared for the church." In verse 28 again it says, "Husbands ought to also love their wives as their own bodies and he ought to love the wife as his own self." Again, showing us a picture of how we are to care for our wives. Then in verse 33 again, "Let each one love his own wife in particular just as himself." Once again, the love, the respect, the honor, the mutual admiration one for another and the care and the protection, all of these things provided there once again before God as the husband loves his wife, not dominates over her or is domineering or lords over her, but he loves and respects and cares for her just as he takes care of himself.

That leads us really to the next idea of the mutual respect and honor and care and concern. Yes, we have over and over here in Ephesians 5 the idea that wives are to submit and love their husbands, but also we see that husbands are to love and respect and also if you'll notice, to submit, to submit one to another that is, as we see in verse 22. Submit one to another before who? Before God. You see, husbands and wives are to have again that attitude of submission one to another that leads to all of these attitudes like respect. We find examples of those in the Bible who didn't respect their wives. Even in the very beginning, Adam. You might remember there in Genesis chapter 3 and verse 12, Adam didn't really respect Eve. When God came to him and said, "Why did you do this, Adam?" He said, "Well, it's the woman you gave me." That kind of an idea. Well, what about Abraham? Remember when Abraham there in Genesis 12 was at a special city before a king and there he told them that Sarah was not his wife but really his sister because he didn't want to be killed. Well again, sometimes we don't respect our wives. Well we need to respect them and be proud of them just as we are proud of ourselves. We need to love them just as we love ourselves and we need to ultimately make sure in all things as it says that it is in the Lord that we know it is before God because as men of the home, as men of God, as husbands, as parents, as fathers, we must be those who really let our family know that God is the most important thing. Over everything else, God is important. How do we do this? By making sure that our family is at every provided service. By making sure that our wives and children know that God is the center of our universe and not that we are or they are, but God is. And then everything else falls in part because when we are faithful before God, He provides for us and He cares for us.

I want to end now in the last few minutes with a discussion just for a moment about children. If you'll notice again in Ephesians chapter 6, we see there in verse 4. After it was told what children should do, in verse 4 it says, "And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord." I think once again here we can see the very point that we're trying to make. As a husband loves his wife, as a father loves his children, as that love again through honor and respect and mutual and concern and care and also a protection that is given, all of these things can be seen even here as it says that we should not provoke our children, not do anything that would bring them to anger or cause them to sin in some way, but rather to bring them up in the knowledge of the Lord, in the admonition, the encouragement, to know that God is there for them just as God has been there for you as a father in the home.

So I encourage all of us as men who are in families, all of us who are husbands, all of us who are fathers to be the best father that we can be and to go to God for encouragement, to pray about it, to ask God to help you to be the best father that you can be so that you might provide for your family and care for them and show the love that you need to and honor and respect them and bring them up before God as He has asked you to and train them to know who God is and to respect His will because when they learn those things about God, then they will practice them also in the home. And when all of the parts of the home are doing what they should, then God is pleased and then we'll all receive the final reward someday just as He has promised.

(SONG # 3 - "I Know Whom I Have Believed!")

CLOSING COMMENTS

Let me thank you again for choosing to be with us today for the Living Word program. I hope and trust, that together we have all benefited from this service to our Lord. Let me also invite you to join us every Lord's Day morning at 7:30 as we give this time to our Creator.

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As husbands and fathers before God, may we each accept our responsibility and may we provide and care for our families as God has designed.

(Program closing)